


me neither

by elijay



Series: because there really isn't enough of Neal Caffrey being one of the Robins in our lives [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Amnesiac Jason Todd, Angst, Episode: s01e08 Hard Sell, Gen, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd is Neal Caffrey, Neal Caffrey Needs a Hug, Neal Caffrey can shoot, Neal Caffrey is Jason Todd, Neal Caffrey is Jason Todd but Neal doesn't know that, a little bit smaller than the others in this series, and it freaks him out a bit, but he can do some of the things Jason could, on the drive home after that, then think of what happens in that episode - with the comic book room, think of Jason's trauma from digging his way out of his own grave, unfinished/open ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29729559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elijay/pseuds/elijay
Summary: Neal’s in Peter’s car. They’re driving back to the city. It’s a long drive. Neal still can’t breathe.Peter lasts about ten minutes, filled with Neal’s shifting and subtle, panicky eyes, before he breaks the uncomfortable silence bearing over them.“I didn’t know you could shoot,” he says.---Neal Caffrey is actually Jason Todd.
Relationships: Peter Burke & Jason Todd, Peter Burke & Neal Caffrey
Series: because there really isn't enough of Neal Caffrey being one of the Robins in our lives [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1785382
Comments: 36
Kudos: 211





	me neither

**Author's Note:**

> inspired somewhat by ProwlSIC's comment on my other Jason!Neal story. went a bit off track from the original idea.
> 
> this is a bit smaller than the rest of this series. i'm thinking of posting a few more of my own small things - warning, they might not be as high quality as the rest, and they definitely won't be as long! but please, still enjoy!

Neal’s in Peter’s car. They’re driving back to the city. It’s a long drive. Neal still can’t breathe.

Peter lasts about ten minutes, filled with Neal’s shifting and subtle, panicky eyes, before he breaks the uncomfortable silence bearing over them.

“I didn’t know you could shoot,” he says.

Neal shrugs, far-away and still trying to make his lungs feel full and his heart come down from the anxious high it’s in. “Me neither,” he mumbles vaguely. He comes back to the present in a flash and an icy skip of his pounding heart. “I mean- of course you didn’t, I… don’t like guns, I’ve told you that before, Peter,” he scrambles for words, making the recovery poorly, uncharacteristically.

Peter gives him a side-eye, hands a bit tense on the wheel. “You’re usually a lot smoother than that, Neal. What did you mean by that?”

Neal’s whole deal was made possible because Neal was a _non-violent_ criminal. Neal knows this, Peter knows this, the office knows this, Hughes knows this, even higher up knows this. As a non-violent con man, as long as you know he’s a con, he’s absolutely harmless - this had been Peter’s selling point when he’d taken Neal’s offer.

Neal grimaces. They’re too far out of the city. “Are you gonna let me wriggle my way out of this one?” he asks plainly, voice plaintive.

Peter just shakes his head, a small bit of sympathy in his gaze as he takes in Neal’s slumped, despondent form with a swift glance. “Sorry, Neal.” He does sound a little sorry.

Neal sighs, leaning his head against the glass. “I didn’t know I could do that. I mean, I suppose I did, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it,” he mutters, mostly to himself. “But before, I didn’t. Sometimes… sometimes it just happens.”

“What just happens?” Peter pries.

Neal twists to stare with his blue - sometimes green, sometimes, every once and awhile when Neal’s in a mood - eyes at Peter, whose own brown eyes are focused on the road out of necessity. “I do things I don’t know how to do.”

Peter’s brows scrunch up in confusion. “What does that mean?”

“I have missing memories,” Neal says. He thinks saying it bluntly, ripping it off like a bandaid, is probably best, if Peter’s going to force him to tell him in the end anyway. He wants to be honest with Peter, he does.

Oddly, the highway isn’t crowded, barely a car in sight, so Peter has the luxury of easily being able to move across lanes to pull over on the side of the road. He does exactly this. When they’re parked, the car still rumbling underneath them, Peter turns to look directly at him.

“Repeat that,” he demands, brown eyes boring intensely into his own blues.

He meets his gaze head on, and only swallows once before repeating, “I have missing memories.”

Peter’s eyes search for the truth. After a minute, he shakes his head, and says shortly, “Elaborate.” He doesn’t sound very happy.

“I don’t remember anything from my childhood,” he elaborates. “Sometimes, I do things that I don’t know how to do or remember flashes of things that I don’t remember.”

“Neal…”

He barks a short, harsh laugh. “You know, I don’t know if that’s even my name. Probably isn’t - I made it up when I realised I needed one to live.”

“Neal-”

“After I woke up,” he continues, hysteria building, “covered in blood that I don’t think was even mine! I’m just lucky I apparently learned Greek at some point! Or maybe I am Greek? Not to mention all the other-”

“Neal!” Peter snaps.

“What?!” he sends back viciously, glaring.

“...Your eyes are green,” Peter says, and it doesn’t sound like that’s what he originally planned to say.

He makes a sound, and it sounds pitiful to him, _weak_ , where are these thoughts _coming from_ , and he covers his eyes with his hands. He takes a few deep breaths in, feeling Peter’s concerned gaze on him.

“They do that,” he mumbles, voice trembling. “I don’t know why.”

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos &/or a comment if you'd like! feel free to point out mistakes if you spot them, or comment ideas. no promises, as always.
> 
> also feel free to hop on our WC/B discord. we're pretty active and pretty friendly! click [here!](https://discord.gg/SnjTSuvtds)


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